To be “in the world but not of the world” is one of those sayings that make sense, but it remains undeniably easier said than done. As Christians, we understand that we are in the world, passing through, on our way to eternity. We also understand that we are not to be of the world in the sense that we submit our lives to Christ, putting off the desires of the flesh, avoiding temptations, and resisting evil. We understand these things, but how can we ensure we’re living them out?

“I have given them your word, and the world has hated them because they are not of the world, just as I am not of the world,” Jesus prayed. “I do not ask that you take them out of the world, but that you keep them from the evil one. They are not of the world, just as I am not of the world” John 17:14-16

How do we juggle the balance of loving unbelievers while not condoning their worldliness? How can we navigate discourse between those we disagree with? For many of us, it may be safe to say that we have a sense of needing to find unity where we can with those around us. And yet, in that pursuit, we must not neglect the command to speak the truth boldly and in love. To help us with this endeavour, there are a few goals worth prioritizing.

1. Put God and His Word first.

No matter what you’re doing, who you’re talking to, where you’re going, or what you’re hoping for, putting God and His word first is the most important task for the believer. Proverbs 3:6 states, “In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make straight your paths.” The Apostle Paul wrote in 1 Corinthians 10:31, “So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.” The two greatest commandments are to love the Lord our God with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength and to love our neighbours as ourselves. These are all in God’s word, and these are all rooted in putting God first. It’s glorifying to God to share His truth. It glorifies Him for us to love others and to be people who bear the fruit of the spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

When He is the one our gaze is fixed upon, we see the world differently. We’re quicker to see others (especially those of the world) not merely as obstacles or irritants but as people made in the image of God. We see sinners not so much as stumbling blocks but as people needing saving — just as we all are.

If you want to be a light to everyone around you, then make sure the Source of light is deeply and firmly planted within you. Be engaged in His word. Seek Him daily in prayer. Earnestly seek to glorify Him in all that you do, and you just may find yourself walking in a posture ready to communicate with anyone about anything in a way that is dignified, loving, truthful, and fruitful.

2. Understand the biblical definition of love.

Jesus said in John 13:35 that His disciples will be known for their love. Of course, what is loving in biblical terms does not align with what the world defines love to be. And so, if we’re to be in the world but not of it, we must come to terms with the fact that we will have conversations with people we don’t agree with that won’t go particularly well. We can do everything in our power to be cool, calm, and collected, but it doesn’t change the fact that the truth is inherently offensive to those of the world. But as Christians, we know there is nothing more loving than to share this truth. A precise definition of biblical love can be found in 1 John 5:3: “For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments. And his commandments are not burdensome.” The truth can hurt, and it can hurt badly. But to experience hurt is not the same as to experience harm. The truth is love and freedom, and remembering this will help us hold our ground in conversations with people who are not like-minded. And at the end of the day, their responses are not in our control.

3. Make sure you know what you believe and why.

This may actually be one of the most crucial steps to finding the balance of seeking unity while holding your ground. 1 Peter 3:15 states, “In your hearts honour Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defence to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you.” Ephesians 4:15 talks about being equipped for ministry “so that we may no longer be children, tossed to and fro by the waves and carried about by every wind of doctrine, by human cunning, by craftiness in deceitful schemes.” The point is that we should have conviction about what we believe. We should be able to clearly define and defend it.

4. Stay humble.

Humility is not only biblical, but it’s necessary for healthy dialogue. Humility helps us approach conversations with the right attitude. It helps us respond better to those who do not behave well. It helps us be more compassionate when we’re dealing with difficult people or having dicey conversations. We are all sinful, imperfect, messy humans. Humility reminds us of that.

Summary: Between the goals of putting God first, understanding what true love is, knowing what you believe, and staying humble, you will be walking a path to success. A great anonymous quote “Jesus sat with sinners; He didn’t sin with them. Know the difference.” And remember the words found in Luke 12: 11b-12: “Do not be anxious about how you should defend yourself or what you should say, for the Holy Spirit will teach you in that very hour what you ought to say.” He is always with us. And praise be that He gives us the strength, wisdom, and discernment needed to live in and not of this world.

This an abbreviated version of an article in The Washington Stand entitled Living in the World, Not of It: The Balance of Finding Unity While Standing Firm in Truth by Sarah Holliday